‘learning the potty’

i was so so nervous about “potty training” and i'm not sure why… i think my anxiety arose from us never having done it before and not knowing what to expect. with hindsight our daughter might have been ready even earlier, but as with many things in my life i found ways to procrastinate and put it off.

this is our experience of ‘learning the potty’.

i by no means claim to be an expert, but i hope for someone out there who doesn't have a clue what to expect or how to start - that reading this offers some guidance and confidence in the process.

Our approach

talk about using the potty for a few days before you start and get them excited/on board

stay home for three days

two days naked butt down, and then introduce pants only

on the fourth day consider leaving the house for short trips

once starting try not to resort back to nappies (only wearing them overnight)

prompt to use the potty only once an hour or your pestering might put them off and bear in mind a two to three year olds bladder capacity is around 250ml

You will need

inco pads can be helpful to place beneath them for naps or into the car seat in anticipation of accidents potentially for long journeys (puppy training pads or maternity bed mats will do). i used these to line our car seat for the first week, just incase.

a potty or toilet seat and step of your choosing (we opted for the liewood sandy jonaton potty (widely available).

later when she felt comfortable using a toddler seat on the toilet we used this one, which i highly recommend as it has handles allowing them to feel secure and a splash guard which i’ve seen in action.

a travel potty for out and about - we were recommended and bought the potette plus 3 in 1 travel potty (also widely available) which can be used with an insert at home, and as either a standing potty with disposable liners when out and about or a toddler toilet seat.

pants - we started with around 7 pairs but purchased a couple more packs so i could keep spares in her daily backpack and nursery bag.

you will NOT need to completely re-hash their wardrobe as i had read. just ditch the popper bodysuits, but continue to use the clothes they already have and help them to undress.

if you like to read up, i read ‘the gentle potty training book’ by sarah ockwell-smith and give it a thumbs up.

How it went

Day one bare bottom

9am woke with a full nappy. explained how we were going to start using the potty today (we had talked about it that week and she was excited). she had a small accident but sat on potty (congratulated for trying).

drank 300ml juice.

i kept asking if she wanted to use potty but she was unsure.

1230 had a small accident and kept asking to put on her nappy (i could tell she was starting to feel anxious about using the potty, so she was holding it in) - she managed to do 10ml in the potty with plenty of encouragement.

1pm squatted to play and had a proper accident as her bladder must have been so full, i immediately took her to our potty (she stopped herself again as she stood up in surprise) and she managed to do a huge wee on the potty. lots of congratulations.

drank around 350ml juice.

330pm i kept asking once each hour if she needed to go and she said no. i wasnt sure if this was because she was nervous again so at 37 weeks pregnant i myself squatted on the potty to do a wee and normalise the potty.

after marlow sat on and off a few times and kept looking inside, she finally did a wee on the potty.

350 marlow said ‘i need my potty’ - we went together to the potty in the other room and she had a huge wee! super proud mama moment.

5pm i got a little distracted at this point, and as she was playing in her bedroom she had a small accident on the floor. we transferred to the potty and while i went out to empty it, she then had a poop accident. i explained it was absolutely ok and that everyone including me has accidents when they are learning. this was the one and only time she pooped on the floor and luckily it was on a wipeable mat.

huge fuss made by her daddy to congratulate her on her day when he finished work.

before we popped her nappy on for the night, we coaxed her to try and sit on the potty again and she managed another wee.

Day two - bare bottom (kept home from nursery)

woke at 9am and drank 300ml juice over the course of the morning.

held everything in, and denied needing to use the potty until 1115 when she told me ‘i need to use the potty’… HUGE wee and moment to be proud.

1200 i was on the toilet and not able to get off quickly enough… marlow told me ‘i need a wee’ then went to the potty on her own.

another 300ml juice.

i prompted her to try the potty again (successfully) at around 0115, again at 0215, and 0400.

0530 she again told me she needed a wee and we went straight to the potty.

before 7pm she went around four more times, including once as we were playing hide and seek she shouted to me from the other room to tell me she needed to go and successfully held it in until i’d located the potty and brought it to her.

throughout day two she didnt poo and denied needing to go, despite having wind and i chalk it up to the fact that she was too intimated to use the potty for a number two.

Day three - first day wearing big girl pants

woke around 8am with a dry nappy (only changed once overnight) and drank 200ml when waking.

she didnt want to go on the potty this morning.

had two small leaks but stopped herself both times and finished on the potty (both before 9am) then drank a further 150ml.

i started to use lactulose in small doses this morning as she has struggled with constipation before and i felt she was holding in her poop. i wanted to prevent a situation in which she got pain when opening her bowels on the potty and made a negative association.

prompted to use the potty twice again before 1030am.

i stopped documenting our journey at this point because she was doing so wonderfully - the only concern i had at this stage was her holding in her poo.

Thereafter

marlow managed to do two poops on the potty on day five with lots of encouragement, the help of a storybook and by example (that’s right, i took one for the team and squatted on the potty at 37 weeks pregnant. it was a low point i promise but it definitely helped!)

we went out on day four for a short trip to the park and had no accidents. we timed our trip out just after she had emptied her bladder and although i took the potty and prompted her in the park, she said she didnt need to go and she was right.

Further ramblings

for the first week of learning we kept her home from nursery, and when i sent her in the following week i expected her to go through a few outfits… she surprised us all and came home on her first day in the exact same outfit and pants i’d sent her in with. her keyworker said they had to prompt her to use the potty for the first day, but by her second day she was letting them know when she needed to go - and no accidents. we also lent them her own potty so she would feel more comfortable, but on her second day there she was happy to use theirs.

we resolved ourselves to the fact that once she started we wouldnt confuse things by using nappies again for convenience, as i had read this might be confusing. that meant that when she wanted a nappy to open her bowels, i had to gently remind her that she wasn’t using a nappy during the day anymore, and continued encouraging her use of the potty. there was ABSOLUTELY a time i considered giving in on the first day and again when i worried she might get constipated, but i’m glad i trusted in her ability to do it.

we offered her the choice of a seat on the toilet or a potty initially and learnt with what she felt more comfortable using (but purchased both). after a few weeks, she braved a toilet seat at her nanny’s house which we then introduced at home as well (definitely my preference as the task of emptying a potty is not my favourite).

the guidance book i had read said to buy clothing which they could take off themselves e.g tracksuit bottoms. it suggested avoiding tights, poppers, tight clothing etc., and i think this was part of the reason i put it off for so long because i felt like we had to buy an entirely new wardrobe as what she owned didn’t fit the bill. in the end i just disregarded that and went for it, and with hindsight the only thing you really need to buy is underwear. a month down the line marlow still struggles to undress herself for the potty, but we are always there to help and i believe it’s just something that will come with time. it's more important that she can recognise her need to use the potty, lets us know and holds it until she's in place… and marlow has done just marvellously in that regard!